Drunken Pilot She said what’s up with this modern love You decide then there’s the rub Dogs were barking through the misty air I barely remember what it means to care Show a little mercy on my rotten soul I’m a drunken pilot losing control She grabbed my hand and looked in my eyes Hoping for me to apologize Somebody else is working these bones I only feel right when I’m all alone I feel laid bare for the world to see There’s some kind of flaw inside of me Let me simmer in my sins I’m not feeling anything The bug light zappin’ as she starts to cry I try and make a face like I seem surprised My momma told me when I was short and dumb You can never count on anyone There’s a fire in the hills I see smoke from my roof Breathe it in my lungs as I lay here mute I know that I can never really give enough There’s nothing in me that resembles love Watching the world from a screened in porch I imagine everything all razed and scorched Hold me down in the water ‘til my breath is gone I’m tired of being so god damned wrong

Broken Watches I have that picture of you standing holding an ice cream cone And there’s a 1970’s breeze Blowing your curly hair around like cotton candy Your skin is soft and pale and I can almost feel it against my finger I’m sure you’ve had your first kiss your first cigarette But maybe you’d never flown in a plane across the Atlantic I can tell you like carnivals and you were against the war You had an older brother who went over you won’t see anymore The cold cold war is all you ever seem to dream about You wake up sweating through your tank top Worried there’s someone walking around in the house And you can’t seem to get yourself out of bed… I relate There’s not a bird in the world you don’t know the name of Though really you’ve only ever seen a few You can still remember the card tricks you learned a kid But you only every break them out at parties when you’re tipsy Maybe you took a trip all the way down to Florida Watched whales jumping through the air at Sea World You saw your grandma Ida holed up in the trailer park And pressed your head against her heaving chest you knew she loved you The cold cold war is all you ever seem to dream about You wake up sweating through your tank top Worried there’s someone walking around in the house And you can’t seem to get yourself out of bed… I relate I found your picture walking down the street when I was your age in a box full of broken watches I’ve kept you with me through these crazy windy years I guess I like the way you keep time stopping how you’re frozen Has some new worry supplanted those old dreams Maybe I’ve passed you walking down these streets Goddamn I’ve been grieving I lost my only human Most days are a bear thick and consuming But I still have your picture and sometimes it takes me away

Keep Moving I saw you outside in the yard Shaking your fist up at the sky And your dress was at your feet With the neighbors walking by I don’t know about what happened I can barely keep my pants on Things are getting out of hand Even when I’m in a spiral I’d like to be a good man Didn’t know what I should do Felt like we were in a movie I walked slowly up to you Seemed as though you knew me How in the world did I get here Wrapped my coat around your shoulders Walked you over to the porch You were sullen soft and shaky So I knocked on the door I stayed a while but no one answered So I left you with my coat There’s nothing here I can believe in It never goes as I had hoped There’s always something underneath I never know what I am doing Always loving in the worst way Maybe I need to keep moving

A New Way of Being I’m trying to break my own bones Reshape the shape I have taken Calibrate the facts I’ve distorted Remake the roads I’ve mishapen I notice the afternoon light Creeping away like a burglar Worried about what comes next Shaking myself into fervor Recognize I’m just a baby A shadow of who I have been Shifting and scrubbing erasing Wallowing in this new skin I’m searching for something to believe in A new way of knowing old truths I remember a system of being But somehow I lost the proof Inside I can feel subtle shifting Erasing what I used to be I’ll ride out the road like a cowboy Despite all the evidence I see Recognize I’m just a baby A shadow of who I have been Shifting and scrubbing erasing Wallowing in this new skin I’m watching the birds from the bridge Thinking of new ways to live Reconsidering my options (every possibility) Washing out all of the toxins I notice some calm in the morning There’s always hope in the dawn Everyone knows this is fleeting We’re here for a moment then gone

Fragile Bones The walls have all swelled from the heat and humidity And you in the yard in a moment of lucidity Looking back at the house that your late uncle built You can almost see the blood and the sweat that spilt Remembering the summers spent on that riverboat The way your dad would dole out little anecdotes Speaking on the way things used to be And his father before that damn disease You wonder about the blood That’s circling these bodies Hiding in your skin for all these years Your mother said that praying never helped a sinful man Now in this perspective you begin to understand There’s a hopelessness buried in your fragile bones A history for which you can’t atone Sasha in the morning with the light across her face Makes you feel like history and time can be erased She wakes up and stretches like a cat You can feel your spirits coming back You wonder about the blood That’s circling these bodies Hiding in your skin for all these years You’ve only ever known a vengeful god Recognize the ways in which you’re flawed Still you wish to find someone to call on To thank for the moments you’re not falling You wonder about the blood That’s circling these bodies Hiding in your skin for all these years Isn’t it weird

Panes of Glass Rows of corn stretching long Houses falling to the earth Justified telling lies Don’t forget that you were first You’ve been taking these photographs From the back of a bus Looking through those panes of glass Wondering if you’ll be missed Scattered bones catacombs Left to bleach out in the sun I can’t feel it there’s a rage You should see what I’ve become You’ve been taking these photographs From the back of a bus Looking through those panes of glass Wondering if you’ll be missed There’s a light on in the bedroom Of the window where you slept I remember every detail You always said I was obsessed California can’t compare to How I saw you in the glow Swear to god I’ll endure (continue remain) Holding out until it snows You’ve been taking these photographs From the back of a bus Looking through those panes of glass Wondering if you’ll be missed Is there anything left of us

Georgia Sky Lacey on the bus as the sun burns out She says I don’t really like my own mind Every time I try and fall asleep these days It feels like I’m battling Frankenstein And I’m stranded left behind Jenny takes her hand and says hush my love You know that I’d never let you disappear I listen to you talking to your god sometimes Quietly when you think no one hears About hunger and your fears Lacey whispers with her eyes closed I could use a little antidote And the moon is nearly full And they’re so far from where they need to go Watching through the window at the blurry sky Everyone seems to be dead asleep Lacey looks longing into Jenny’s eyes Tell me my peach what’s the matter with me I can’t loosen this disease Sorry my love I need to get some rest Jenny tells Lacey then shuts her eyes Lay your little rabbit head on my lap When we wake up we’ll be hypnotized By the cleansing Georgia sky Lacey whispers with her eyes closed I could use a little antidote And the moon is nearly full And they’re so far from where they need to go

Your Father The breath from your mouth like tiny white clouds As the war rages on in your head You sense some impending a pressure some looming A storm that builds ‘til you’re dead Watching the children leaving the building Swathed in their colorful scarves You think of your daughter still in Chicago The husband who shattered her nerves You’ve been up thirty four hours Hoping to make it in time He was gone you never saw him Now you’re half loaded on wine Hearing the language so twisted and tangled Trying to pick up some words You look for the building where you and your siblings Lived before it grew absurd You can’t remember all your offenders The names lost to hard years You still see the faces it’s all so contagious There’s nobody left here who cares You’ve been up thirty four hours Hoping to make it in time He was gone you never saw him Now you’re half loaded on wine Where was your mother who left here that summer Your father said she must have died Sometimes you wonder how he once won her He always seemed barely alive Lurching and stumbling yelling and singing You look to the windows above you You see the faces stern and impatient As you bathe in the troubles of youth

Crawl in My Rib Cage If I heard you right you’ve been switching things up Consciously falling out of love Learning to turn it on and off Like an ice cap growing soft I swear to god there must be cheese in your ears You know I’d never disappear All I mean is that we’re in some shit And we need to get out of it Crawl in my rib cage where it’s warm And nothing ever causes harm Shake out these branches for the fruit I’ve got plenty here for two If I’m correct there’s this definite shift A distancing from the crowd you’re with Some wavering a changing guard You’re amazing and bizarre There’s a satellite hovering high Taking photographs as you divide Cataloging every nuanced move As your luster burns through Crawl in my rib cage where it’s warm And nothing ever causes harm Shake out these branches for the fruit I’ve got plenty here for two Listen to the sound of the rain on the fire Watch how the smoke trails creep like a spider I can’t remember when I last heard you laugh But there’s so much we can leave along the path

Running Faster I’m a little bit out of breath It’s exactly as she said There’s a satellite falling through the sky Toward my head Why would I be this surprised Guess I should apologize No amount of anything will make it All right Time is a bastard Always seems to run faster Now I’m stuck I’m trapped in This hereafter I never asked for your opinion Why would I when I’m winning Now I’m looking for a secret passage back To the beginning All the phone calls and letters God damn they upset her I’m remembering the first time I wrote Forever Time is a bastard Always seems to run faster Now I’m stuck I’m trapped in This hereafter I need a rain to wash it clean A little snow on these machines Let’s draft a brand new deal I’m in love with how it used to feel

Sharpest Bulb Whaddya want from me I’m doing the best I can With the tools I have Everything gets funny you’re in a way again Whadid you mean by that Your mother called me shit for brains I guess that’s fair I’ve never been the sharpest bulb in the drawer fore sure I can’t breathe so good your sucking up all the oxygen You don’t ever stop Watch me dissipate turn into a cloud again Leaking like a pig Your mother called me shit for brains I guess that’s fair I’ve never been the sharpest bulb in the drawer fore sure I know that I can be self depreciating For all intensive purpose I’m laying in waiting I’m just biting time hoping to proceed I’ll extract revenge and get off scotch free

Two Magnets Driving through the mesmerizing snow I’m at light speed a torpedo Haven’t dropped my plow down for an hour I get nervous I’m a coward I pull into the High Horse for a whiskey Half the town is there getting tipsy A woman with no shoes on in a bear suit Winks at me as though we’re in cahoots She got up on the bar and started shoutin’ I was conceived under the Old Man of the Mountain My parents were two magnets misfit lovers Who turned around and now repel each other Watching waiting wishing I was loaded She came to me as if she floated We danced across the floor with my friends gawking We knew each other without talking She ran her fingers through my thinning hair Entranced by my spinning bear I’d never felt a feeling so electric Skeptics make it hard to be connected She got up on the bar and started shoutin’ I was conceived under the Old Man of the Mountain My parents were two magnets misfit lovers Who turned around and now repel each other I stepped to the bar to hear her raving She jumped into my arms she needed saving Somehow it seemed right us here together she whispered in my ear like a feather Long before the boulders started breaking The love they shared soured into hating It’s weird this crazy history we wind through I knew if I came back here I would find you