1. |
Slowing Days
02:37
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Slowing Days
Drinking in the shitty motel bar
Trying to obliterate my brain
Wondering how I could fall so far
I was in trouble once again
Talking to a guy I didn’t like
Telling him some lies I wished were true
Feeling how I sink into the night
When I start thinking hard on you
I’m just wasting all this time
Slowing days down for a while
Eradicating moments
Contentedly beguiled
Sitting in an empty motel pool
Counting all the crows up in the tree
Wishing I could fly right home to you
Hoping you were trying to believe
Remembering the summers on the cape
Watching how the days fell into night
The sun always vanished without a trace
Falling asleep in sand outside
We were wasting days away
So naïve and unafraid
But that was decades in the past
Before dreams all had been dashed
Sunlight like a fragile hollow string
Laid across the landscape like a quilt
You said you see god in everything
Disparate tendrils that he built
Somehow you drifted elsewhere first
Time seeming to quiet to a hush
Pitifully tethered to this earth
Watching as the clouds pass up above
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2. |
Live in This
03:38
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Live In This
I know that walk I call from behind
She turns around it’s been some time
Can we grab a coffee can we talk for a bit
Sure I’ve got a minute what can it hurt
There’s a place I know just down the block
We walk in silence don’t even talk
And the streets are thick with people this time of year
And I don’t know how to carry myself anymore
Feels like things are closing in
I could live in this pretend
It’s been entirely bizarre
Still here we are
Why’d you leave I say why’d you walk away
She looks at my face you never asked me to stay
You said I’d sleep with anyone maybe that was true
But you weren’t anyone I was confused
We were taking on water everyone for themselves
Then I bailed early to get some help
I just never returned I lost the thread
Sorry you ended up all sopping wet
Feels like things are closing in
I could live in this pretend
It’s been entirely bizarre
Still here we are
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3. |
Somehow
01:14
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Somehow
I’m counting stars tonight
Lying on my back
Quench my appetite
Add and subtract
There’s a line through the moon
I could split it fall through
But I’m tethered earthbound
Set in stone
I’ll put my hands down
It’s too far gone
If the sun breaks the sky
I’ll somehow be all right
Somehow
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4. |
Determinist
02:25
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Determinist
There’s a way you like to complicate things
Prone to pain and over thinking
You can’t see the road for all the bumps
Looking for some cold ascension
A simple secret swift redemption
Drinking from a glass already drunk
Recidivist Determinist Plagiarist
Wondering if you even exist
Your mind is like a ferris wheel
An open wound that never heals
But on the outside you look well maintained
Somehow in this waning light
That seems like it could last all night
You realize there’s some folly in your ways
Recidivist Determinist Plagiarist
Wondering if you even exist
Despite all of your trepidation
Flip flopping and vacillation
Chattering and invocations
Finger pointing allegations
You feel like you’re in outer space
Floating like there’s roller skates
And every single move you make
Is another world that you create
Solipsist arsonist contortionist
Doubtful that they even exist
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5. |
Navy Man
03:57
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Navy Man
The way the kids can drink these days he said and raised a glass
If I ever drank that way I’d be flat on my ass
Still I sidled next to him and bought the man a drink
He sized me up through wire frames didn’t say a thing
Three buck for a shot of jack two bucks for a beer
If I was drinking by myself I’d spend the whole night here
He let me rattle on a while about some things I’d done
Then he said when I was your age I had my second son
He said he captained tugboats a navy man to start
Blew a lot of buildings up in some pointless war
Now he guides the tankers from rivers out to sea
Spends his night holding court and trying not to freeze
What would you do differently if you had the chance
What if your decisions weren’t bound by circumstance
He told me everything he’d done led him to this spot
If he chose another path he’d be someone he’s not
Every cross road he walked through advice that he ignored
Kept him on his proper course god opened a door
I threw back a shot of jack stood and shook his hand
Said it was my pleasure to meet a navy man
Outside in the shock of night the snow had nearly stopped
I felt like something stuck in me was suddenly unblocked
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6. |
Tenuous
02:54
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Tenuous
If I lost you to science
I would wait here in the quiet
If I lost you to chemistry
I would feel a certain empathy
I see the way the world pulses and curves
Somehow I never find the words
My hold seems fairly tenuous
Dangling desperate at the precipice
If I lost you to history
I would hide in your periphery
If I lost you in philosophy
It would spark my curiosity
I see the way the world pulses and curves
Somehow I never find the words
My hold seems fairly tenuous
Dangling desperate at the precipice
If I lost you in religion
I might join you on your mission
But if you flit away this easy
I might never be appeased
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7. |
What Remains
03:25
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What Remains
The radiator hissing like a man gasping for air
And you doing dishes in your underwear
The cat is always sleeping except when you’re in bed
Then she’s running circles around your sleeping head
You mother’s finally gone drove back to Wyoming
She overstayed her welcome it was getting kind of troubling
Working on some writing but you can’t process your thoughts
You’re thinking about baking with the food that you bought
You turn on the radio catch the final innings
You like the way the men talk and your team’s finally winning
She sits on your lap puts a hand through your hair
The stubborn little hold outs of what’s remaining there
I guess we should get dressed she says and starts to rise
But you pull her back down put a hand on her thighs
You curl into her neck breathe the fullest breath
There’s nowhere in the world you’d rather be instead
Remember how it felt when we first met
Your new pierced lip and everything ahead
The way we talked all night the promises we made
My job at the farm and my stupid stubborn ways
Trying to get by trying to exist
Can’t believe we’re here can’t believe we made it
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8. |
Before the Ice
02:33
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Before the Ice
Packing waiting hoping restless
You’ll be alone for the night
Breathing drinking longing nervous
Try to forsee some new life
Before the winter crawls in your bones
Before the ice forms on the eves
Realize all you can conceive
School books board games old clothes letters
All of the things you misplaced
Records pine cone French horn flashlight
Moving beyond your mistakes
Before the chains are on the tires
Before the lake begins to freeze
Let your fear hang in the trees
You thought that God couldn’t see you
On the dreary clouded days
You were always in his spotlight
Watching spellbound and amazed
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9. |
Burdock
02:13
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Burdock
Well I tried to write some lyrics
To the words you left
But you have no sense of meter
And they certainly don’t rhyme
I’ve been falling asleep early
With my jeans still on
Watching stupid tv
Like somebody’s old man
The garden that you planted
Has been choked out by the burdock
I just can’t keep up
I called up your mother
I think she used to like me
She said you’re taking judo
And working on a book
I need some provocation
To stir me from this lull
I know that I’m not confident
But you said that there was hope
The garden that you planted
Has been choked out by the burdock
I just can’t keep up
I’ve been reading on the porch
Walking to the park
Talking to the kids
And feeding all the birds
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10. |
Sifting
02:16
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Sifting
If I had anything resembling a soul
I would have called you when I heard the news
But I’ve been waiting for a promise to unfold
Covering up these old tattoos
If there was anyone I felt indebted to
If there was anyone that harbored my regrets
I swear Virginia that it would have been you
We’re both still feeling the effects
Mired in the what remains
Sifting through these dregs again
I see the birds that perch and watch me from the line
Out my window as the day turns to night
It seems they know something to which I have been blind
Silently they take to flight
Mired in the what remains
Sifting through these dregs again
You’re the ghost inside these walls
You’re the peak before the fall
You’re the thorn stuck in my paw
You’re my bitter tragic flaw
Mired in the what remains
Sifting through these dregs again
I’m still seventeen years old
And my story yet untold
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11. |
Seventeen
03:05
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Seventeen
He said I like your insides best
What about these she said holding her breasts
I’m home her mother calls from downstairs
And she puts on her black underwear
He’s out the window on the lattice
And he whispers I’ve had it
Wait he quietly pleads
I just like it inside you I mean
I just like the way that you feel
Feet on steps and a knock on the door
She looks casual lying on the floor
What are you up to her mom says and sits
I’m just doing my best to exist
Friday night at your age I was out on the town
I go out sometimes it’s just no one’s around
Tell me a secret that nobody’s heard
Come one mom I swear you’re the worst
Why do you always make it awkward
Okay I’ll go try and get some sleep
Tomorrow’s a big day you turn seventeen
Her mom shuts the door and she lies there a minute
Goes to the window and lets him back in it
I’ll do whatever you like
Just stay the night
I’ll do as you say
Tomorrow’s my birthday
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